


Kalika

by writinraven



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, very long winded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 11:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writinraven/pseuds/writinraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kali has been many things to many people, and has suffered much. She has been in constant rotation with Loki, Gabriel whatever name he chooses. Her story has been complex, and twisted, but she can't help but notice that she may not be the main character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kalika

            Kali could say she was never certain of much; it was hard to be so. Even with her centuries as the Mother Goddess of India, even knowing that one day she’d end the world as the stories had always foretold, she was never certain. Her age actually made her that way, as irony would have it, because when you had seen the world go through what she had…you learned that nothing was certain, or still. However, it was the lack of certainty that kept her adaptable; she survived things no others did, things that sometimes she knew she shouldn’t have, the passing of Shiva was still strong in her thoughts. No statement could fully cover the things that she had seen; no image could capture herself, and her life. It was just how things were for her, well for any of the Gods that remained on the Earth. How could you sum up the experiences of centuries in a single statement? Words never seemed enough; thousands of images could never complete the circle. She was never upset with this lot in her life; saw no reason for upset when things were going to be okay.

            Granted, most people’s basic assumptions about reality didn’t include her in this manner. After all, the artists throughout time had always changed how the great Goddess looked, much to her eternal amusement. She was sometimes many limbed, or perhaps blue or black skinned. Rarely if ever were she as she stood now, a beautiful if elegant Indian woman, and hiding in plain sight. But that was how the hierarchy worked. Humans could not know that the Gods of lore walked among them. The ensuing chaos would tear the planet apart. The amount of chaos that surrounded Kali as one of the remaining patron Goddesses still worshiped was enough for her, as it was.

            It is not to say that she didn’t have an altruistic sense to her followers, she would be the first of all to admit that she was heavily devoted to them. She would hardly be the dark mother if she was not. It was because of this that she understood they could not comprehend that she was true and there in the temples alongside them. It was all that she could do to not touch the hearts’ of those hurting. Kali wouldn’t risk the boomerang effect though, the idea that their Goddess had faults? It could very well snap back against her and cause more problems that she was capable of dealing with.

            Kali was not alone in this walk, oh no, she had someone who was never more than a foot away it seemed.  Her most unexpected courter, and lover, happened to be the trickster God himself, Loki. They spoke more with their eyes some days, days where he would only look deep in her eyes, and others were he would avoid them. Together they shook the beliefs of the world, and they knew to keep such a relationship quiet. People would never understand the cross of such religions, for who would? The Matron of India and the trouble-maker of Asgard? Hardly a match that anyone could have foreseen, even the prophets.

 

            The courtship had truly been one for the record books. Loki had pulled out all the stops to appeal to the Goddess Kali. She was, resistant, to say the very least. She forced Loki to expressive, heartfelt statements of his feelings for her. She would accept no less, making him erase all her worries about the uncertainty of his feelings. Loki was made to tell her everything to appease the nervous Goddess.  Shockingly enough, she came to believe his story, and his words. He had convinced her that he was not the same person that legends spoke of so coldly.  He whispered secrets in her ear at night, under the stars, things that no one other than he knew of himself. How he missed home, how he missed Thor, and yes sometimes even Balder despite their history.

            The amount of attention he paid her was unlike him, and he tended to become embarrassed when she teased him over this. He didn’t know that every extra moment with her increased the weight of his words, making it all the easier to believe him.

Through these moments they exchanged countless degrees of knowledge and whispers of the worlds in which they had grown. She told him of her struggles to escape Durga’s shadow, and how the sister Goddesses were not one in the same.  Finally he revealed his true nature, a kinder side, gentler. He explained to her his reasons for hiding this side of himself, how it was easier in the Asgardian world to be seen as the Trickster, than just another. How it was the only way to defend him. Much to his surprise, she understood in her own way. She felt the need to be a certain way at all times. Kali knew that she needed to carry herself in certain ways to keep her image safe and sound. She would not lose the reputation that she had fought so hard to gain, so she remained aloof and cruel at times.

Despite the little voice in her head, which sounded oddly like her long gone husband Shiva, warning her against falling for the Trickster’s ways, she found herself doing just that. She integrated the images of the wicked Trickster, and the softer Loki, because she understood how time changed them all. Despite she knew she should not, Kali found herself craving a bonding, though no telling how they would be able to mix the two ceremonies. She wanted it though, the public statement of yes, she is mine, and I am hers.

She fought a losing battle on that front. It often ended when she would bring up her brief love affair with Balder, and then all hell would break loose, and somehow Loki would receive the blame for the fight, despite the fact that Kali had picked the fight. That never moved her any closer to the goal, and if anything it became a distinct noise in their relationship. A lingering sore spot that made it hard for the couple to communicate, and mend the bridges between them. Kali didn’t know how to explain that together they were so much more than when they were apart, that united they were unstoppable. The sum was so much more than the individual parts.

They had long ago passed the personal phase in every relationship. They knew more about each other than was healthy in their stage of a relationship, but it was how they existed. If Kali knew anything though, if she held anything true at all times internally, it was that she could survive on her own.  Her words became harsher over time, words that had not affected before now cut deeper than ever. She would almost hiss some words, where her tone was normally calm, and collected.

Their normal balance was gone. It was as simple as that. The women, who attended to Kali, the few select women who knew their Goddess walked the Earth, saw the sign for what it was. Soon enough, their whispers and suspicions came true. Kali ended the relationship as simply as she had begun it with Loki. It was hardly a proper ending, she simply refused to see or talk to the other God. He would send her letters begging her to bless him with coherency about this. He simply didn’t understand where they had gone wrong, and wished she would explain it all to him. She never did. She could not speak properly of the truthfulness of the story behind it.

Years passed, then centuries, and he was his usual self. The wicked Trickster of lore was wild and free, ignoring the years of Kali as they lingered in the back of his mind at all times. She was a hard one to forget, and he knew that perhaps better than anyone else, even his brother Balder, who himself had once experienced the love of the fickle Goddess. Time though changes all things, and it changed the meaning of the words she had left him with. For he held a secret deep inside, one that he dared not even share with Kali when he had done such spilling of his heart and soul. Did she know? There was little hope for them if she did. How else did it explain away the words she had left him with?

“Our definitions of God will never match, Loki…” She had whispered. He hadn’t understood at the time what that could mean. But now, he thought he might. If she knew that he was not just the pagan god of lore, but was a son of the God. The Judea-Christian God’s trumpeter, Gabriel, an identity he had spent an eternity trying to deny. If Kali had discovered this, it was little wonder she had left without a glance back. No amount of guilt-tripping, no amount of emotional blackmail, no promises of forever, none of his famed manipulations would work on the Goddess.

He couldn’t help that though. Gabriel or Loki as he was much more comfortable being known, often saw his own values, his ideas of redemption through suffering, as the whole reality, and made his followers see it that way. He may talk about Valhalla, and honorable deaths meaning eternal peace, but he had stopped believing in honorable deaths years ago when Lucifer was cast down from the Heavens. So despite the idea that honorable deaths were grand news to Vikings, he would never see any death as good news, for he only saw the end of times.

Days like those days, had Gabriel, well Loki at the time, thinking deeply of Kali. Shockingly critical thinking of her, her words, her mannerisms, how she didn’t seem herself emotionally when they parted ways. He had plenty of motivation for that as far as he was concerned. Winning back the hand of the one woman in the entire universe who could keep up him? She was worth even thinking on things he would rather not dwell on. Even if she had forgotten him, he had to try.

Then the whispers down the grapevine began, in what is known as the modern era, propaganda unlike any seen before, messages meant to unite the world of the Gods. He was shocked, like many others, that Kali was the leading force behind the unity of the Gods. The pantheons of the world began to speak, and mummer and everyone began to talk more. The reasoning behind Kali’s motives were discovered, the Christian end times were upon them. The end was nigh.

Favors began to be given more easily, the understanding that in the upcoming war, they would be paid back in full. Sometimes things weren’t so peaceful, as Kali saw, she saw Gods being forced to do as others needed. It was a simple world for them. Do this for the stronger deity or stronger group, or suffer the consequences.  It became a brutal world. The leaders, the best of the best, representatives from global religions gathered in America under the cloak of a storm unlike any other. Mercury, Odin, Ganesh, Kali, Balder…only some of the more famous names to be mentioned in attendance. The Elysian Fields Hotel was playing host to a convention the likes of which the world had never seen before, and would never seen again.

Loki didn’t receive the first invite, no surprise since Balder was with his beloved Kali now, but he did get one in secret. One in a distinctly Indian script, signed with an ornate K, he knew she needed him, and he could never turn his Goddess down. Especially when she showed more emotions than ever before, she sounded desperate. Something so unlike anything he had seen, even in moments of vulnerability as a couple. As he swayed into the conference room, all the attention shifted to him. All he saw was the front of the c-styled conference tables where _she_ sat. It was as if the room was arranged so that she’d be close, but just out of reach.

Of course, things never go smoothly, especially not with Kali, especially not when she’s in a vicious mood. A light fixture was shattered on the floor, and Mercury had nearly been choked on his own blood. She was a Goddess bent on stopping the world from ending. Her hands told a tale of a desperate need, but all Gabriel, well Loki, had needed to see were the belt along her waist. It had not been seen in public since the days of Shiva, and it did not look the same, but it was unmistakable. The garland of skulls, the skirt of arms, it all combined into one artifact, a gold belt adorned with skulls, that said one thing. If need be, she would become the Destroyer, and end the world before the Christian could.

Loki tried to comfort her later, invading her informal space, despite his better judgment. It did him little good, he had gained a kiss for his troubles, not that he was complaining, but it had not ended the war path that she was hell-bent on starting. Balder, the supposed peaceful one, was not stopping her, when he should have held sway with her at this time. Nothing could be done about the Goddess’ rage. She would not see her followers taken down over the Angels at war. Why she kept his secret, Gabriel didn’t know, he couldn’t understand. He was grateful, since most in attendance got with Kali’s kill or be killed ideals. Not exactly a pro-Christian well anything crowd.

Things ended badly that night for all in attendance when a betrayal came from within the sects. The sacred trust that they all held together was shattered. Mercury had sent word to the leader of Hell, Lucifer. The walls of the hotel were painted red with the blood of the lost Gods that night. Kali would have been the last to die that night, if not for Gabriel. He loved her even then, even after everything that had occurred. He stood between his brother, and the woman who held his heart. He died for her that night, as she vanished into the night.

So no, Kali had learned that she knew nothing of the world around her. She had learned that certainty was an outright lie. She had been certain that the Gods were going to be safe that night, that Loki would be able to help, that they were equally powerful. Now she was certain of nothing as she dressed in a mourning sari. She was on a boat heading home for India; America held nothing left for the lost Mother Goddess. Let the world burn. She had lost all she had ever cared for. India would stand in the ashes, her followers would be protected, but…that was all. She was done with the others.

Loki had arrived that night, uncertain as Kali left, he didn’t know what to expect, what to do, or what would happen. All he knew was that Kali needed her, and that had been all he needed to know to go forth and join her. As the night grew on, he became more certain of one thing, he loved her. Despite the bloodshed, the pain, the suffering she had inflicted over the years, he was in love with India’s Destroyer. So when Lucifer, the lost brother he had so sorely missed, stood above her to kill her as simply as he had done the others, he had saved her. He had lifted her from the ground, and guarded her as she was raced from the building, and vanished into the night. That was all he needed to be certain of. He loved her, and she was safe.

He had arrived as the evil Trickster Loki, there to cause trouble, and hopefully annoy Balder, and of course to help Kali’s plans. But that night reminded him of whom he was, who he had been all along. He wasn’t just Loki, he was so much more to so many people, and he was Gabriel. The Herald of the Lord, the one who told Mary that she carried the Messiah within her, and he would not be stopped without making sure Lucifer knew one thing before the night was over. He was back, and if he died that night, he died for everything that their Father had ever stood for. He died the Archangel Gabriel, killed by his brother, in love with the Goddess of Destruction.

That was all that remained certain.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually a character study I wrote for college, and decided to share with others who might enjoy.


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